In which I find myself in transition

And realize that this is a permanent condition, not a temporary bridge between settled states. I am not sure quite how to convey this quality of readiness and openness. I have described it as making myself available for what wants to happen. It is a completely different experience than my sense, always of having to drive hard to make good things happen. It turns out that making a whole-hearted effort has little to do with ambition, anxiety, setting goals, organizing elaborate plans, monitoring "progress," or accomplishments. It is, rather, a quality of presence, or willingness that is closer to listening than to doing. It is supremely flexible, adaptable, engaged and lively. This is the place of spontaneity and joy. Without looking for happiness or comfort it engulfs us. I expressed this to our Ordinary Mind Group as: This moment is a present we just keep opening. I worry sometimes that this radically new way of seeing the path will keep me from achieving the "great things" I might if I had a driving ambition and a compulsive approach to work. This is the great lie promoted by egoic mind, which continues to catastrophize the shift to nondual awareness and the freedom and spontaneity it offers. Sorry, those shoes are too small to squeeze into again. I can too easily see the suffering produced by that kind of stress. This is, however, just the step off the 100-foot pole that casts a whole life into the breeze. There are no other choices than to simply fly.